


Brave Enough

by InsomniacTiger



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Blood, Edward Elric Swears, Fullmetal Alchemist Ending Spoilers, Hanahaki Disease, Language of Flowers, M/M, Post-Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Rating is mainly because of Ed, References to Depression, References to Maes Hughes, Symbolism, alphonse is a saint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:01:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22442989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsomniacTiger/pseuds/InsomniacTiger
Summary: It was an extinct disease. There were no records of it since the fall of Xerxes. Unfortunately, Edward had Xerxesian blood because of his loser of a father. Now the Fullmetal Alchemist, the one who punched a god in the face, was going to die because of some stupid flowers.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Comments: 31
Kudos: 532





	1. Brave Enough

**Author's Note:**

> This was written years ago. But a friend told me I should just post it. So here it is. My self-indulgent garbage. Please enjoy. :'D Title is from a Lindsey Stirling song.

There's some things I should have said  
I was too afraid  
It was just so hard to let you know  
Now it's all too late

What we had was beautiful  
I didn't want to wreck it all  
Every day I think about the truth

I wish I was  
Brave enough to love you

-Lindsey Stirling

* * *

There are a lot of things Edward never told Al. For one, he never told him how Ling and he ate one of his boots when they were trapped inside Gluttony’s stomach. It was one of those things that the at the time Xing Prince and he agreed never really needed to be mentioned ever again. Another thing was how _scared_ he had been when they realized that at any point Al could just vanish if his soul decided to reject the body that Ed had chosen for him. At any moment his brother could have just blinked from existence and there would have been nothing he could do about it. It lingered in the back of his mind during his waking hours and haunted him in his nightmares for months. There were still some nights he woke up and had to go down the hall to check that his brother was safely sleeping. Whole and happy.

One other thing that never came up was Ed’s giant scar on his abdomen. The one that nearly killed him. The one that for sure would have killed him if not for Heinkel and Darius deciding that they didn’t give a shit about Kimblee and helped him. He especially never told Al that in order to save himself from that wound he had to trade several years of his own life.

The one thing he couldn’t tell his brother was about the day that Scar nearly killed him. They had just lost Nina. Al’s armor had been torn apart. And Scar had promised not to hurt him as long as he didn’t get in the way of killing Edward, the Fullmetal Alchemist. The one thing about that day the Ed never spoke of, was how _relieved_ he had been. For just a moment. Hardly a breath. He had been so relieved that it was going to be over. That he was almost happy that he could give up the search for the Philosopher’s Stone, that he wouldn’t have to keep living with the pain and regret of having failed so many people. Like Nina and Al. That dying by sacrificing himself for Alphonse was the best way he could think of.

But then Roy had shown up.

And Roy freaking Mustang…

He was the other thing that Ed never talked to Al about.

And he would keep that way, even if it killed him.

* * *

“I’m worried Win. He isn’t eating like he used to. And he’s not sleeping. He can lie all he wants but he has the darkest rings around his eyes. Something is bugging him.” Al said quietly into the phone watching from a window as Ed tried to fix the hinge on the front gate to their yard that got hit by a drunk driver a few nights back. Living in Central had its perks, but then there were times like this when Al just sighed. Drunk drivers wrecking their property never happened back home in Resembool.

“Is it his leg? Has he been limping?” Winry asked.

“No. I would have noticed. The last one you gave him after the Promised Day is still working great.”

“I thought it was a good one, but if he’s in pain…”

Al sighed again. He did that a lot when it came to his older brother. But always out of love. “It could just be something in his head again. You know how he gets.”

“Want me to come down there and realign his brain?”

He chuckled. “No. I don’t think that works as well as you think it does. But thank you anyway.”

“Anytime. Hey Al, I love ya, but I really got a line forming outside…”

“Of course! Sorry to bother you. I know you’re busy.”

“It’s never a bother silly! Keep me updated on your stupid brother.”

“Yes ma’am.”

After the Promised Day they had lived in Resembool for a good while. But Ed had started getting fidgety. He was breaking things just so he could learn to fix them without his alchemy. He was getting on Winry’s nerves daily, and arguing with Granny more than ever. The Rockbells were family. But they never could handle brother for too long before he became just one sarcastic remark too close to his automail being removed so that they could lock him in his room.

So, Al had suggested going back to Central. At first Ed had refused. He never gave a reason, just denied every idea that he would give him as to why they should. In the long run Al had to do the thing he _hated_. And that was guilt Ed. But if it was for his own good, then it wasn’t so terrible right?

He still wasn’t so sure.

He told his brother how he really wanted to go back to Central because he missed their friends, and he wanted to try going to the university, and that the Central Library was better on resources then the tiny one that was also an inn that resided in Resembool was.

In the end Ed couldn’t say no.

That’s how he was.

If it was something, he believed Alphonse had his heart set on, he would do anything to give it to him.

After moving to Central Al quickly got himself a part time job at the university. He was a teacher’s assistant in the Alchemy department. But when the staff learned that they had an Elric Brother in their ranks it turned into Al getting his own classes to teach. Which he loved. And paid extremely well. At least for their needs.

But Ed… he didn’t do what his brother had thought he would. He thought that Ed would want to reconnect with Team Mustang. That maybe he would do odd jobs and help them out much like he had before, but without being tied to them by an invisible leash.

Instead Ed had picked up a job at Central Library. He reorganized shelves, and restocked, and helped people find what they were looking for. He spent a lot of time reading and hiding behind his desk.

At first Al thought that maybe the trip of moving and settling into a new place had been enough for his brother not to need more excitement for a bit.

But it had been a year now. And Ed still worked at the Library. He came home and cooked dinner for Al so that he came home to a warm meal. It was nice of course, but it was not his brother.

Then the younger Elric noticed that his brother was not just refusing to work with Team Mustang. He was avoiding them. Once word had got out that there was an Elric at the university of course Havoc showed up. He made no pretenses that the General had sent him to investigate the rumors that the mysterious brothers were back in town. Al invited their old friend for dinner and he had readily accepted. Mostly because Rebecca was out of town on assignment, but that was beside the point.

When they arrived at their house Ed had smiled, a real smile that Al hadn’t seen in a good while. They talked for a long time about how things were going. It was fun. But then Havoc invited them to the bar down Main because ‘the gang was meeting up’.

Al had said yes.

Ed had said no.

Suddenly the older Elric claimed he had a night shift at the Library and had excused himself before leaving abruptly.

Havoc had laughed it off when Al had profusely apologized for the sudden rudeness. Not that he knew Jean wasn’t used to it already. He _had_ seen Ed in his teen years. It wasn’t a total surprise that now that his older brother was in his twenties, he still had the manners of stubborn bull.

“The boss probably just doesn’t want to meet up with the General. I heard they didn’t quite exactly leave off on great terms.”

After hardly any prodding at all Al learned something new about his brother. All those nights back when he said he had to run to grab a quick snack and _No Al, don’t bother, it’s not like you will do anything but stare at me anyway._ Were actually nights when Edward had gone out with Havoc, Breda, Fury, Falman, and even Roy Mustang. Sometimes Hawkeye made an appearance too. They would drink and mess around and just unwind. It didn’t sound like the Ed he knew, but it also didn’t sound too farfetched. He had known that his brother was hiding some secret from him at the time. But he didn’t like to push too much. Pushing Edward Elric never went well for anyone.

Apparently, the last time Ed had joined them on one of these nights he’d gotten into a fight with the General. Nobody was really sure what it was about. But they had stepped outside for a moment per Mustang’s request, and it had turned into Edward yelling, Roy arguing back like only the blonde brought out in him, then the Fullmetal Alchemist … had just walked away.

Shortly after that the Elric brothers had left again on another mission that Ed had pretty much made up for himself.

Al didn’t question it.

And Roy had let them go.

Now they had been in Central for almost two years and Edward had no friends. Sure, he was friendly with everyone, well, unless he thought they were an idiot. But he only spent time with Alphonse. That was all he needed, he was constantly saying. But now something was wrong. Al wasn’t deaf. He heard his brother coughing through their shared bedroom wall.

Ed was sick.

And he was such a stubborn idiot he was likely going to let it get _much worse_ before he even admitted to anyone that maybe he was a little under the weather.

* * *

Ed wasn’t stupid. He’d made a lot of mistakes in his life. That was for sure. But he knew his brother. And he knew when Al was trying to scheme behind his back. He knew that he’d called Winry at least three times in the last week wondering if she had any ideas what was wrong with him.

Winry was amazing. She knew a lot of medical stuff from working with automail patients and the textbooks her parents had left behind. But she wasn’t a doctor.

For a while Ed didn’t even know what was ailing him. But one of the benefits of working at a library meant that he had access to so many different resources. And like the fantastic alchemist he was, he had done his research.

It was a disease that had no name.

It was believed to have died out over four hundred years ago.

The only reason they had any information was from old texts that had been discovered a few decades back.

It was a disease, that had supposedly died out with the fall of Xerxes.

That was when he realized that he had a sickness that could only be possible because of the blood that ran through his veins because of their no good shitty father.

This was Hohenheim’s fault.

Well. Not really. But it was his lineage that made it possible for Ed to have _this_.

It had started with coughing. That could have been a simple cold. Not a fun one, but a cold never the less. He worked around the public. It was bound to happen.

But then two months after the cough had appeared came the strange part.

The petals.

He was gagging on freakin flower petals.

That was when he did his research.

He learned three things after that.

One, that he should have punched Hohenheim one more time before he died, because this was his damned fault.

Two, the petals were Hyacinths. Which symbolized regret. Go figure.

And three, he was going to die, because the cure to the disease was so stupid there was no way that he could do it. Or believe that it was honestly the cure.

Ed was… ok with that. He had saved Amestris, probably the world, from monsters and gods. He had gotten Al’s body back. His sweet wonderful brother had a successful job that he loved and had made friends that he enjoyed. Also, he suspected that it was just a few more phone calls before Winry made another trip down here to ‘check on Ed’s leg’, but then spend her whole trip having Al show her around and take her to dinner. Which his brother always looked forward to.

Really… the world didn’t need the Fullmetal Alchemist anymore. And nobody was going to notice if it was a different pair of hands that found the correct book for them at the library. This was ok. Things were the way they were meant to be.

* * *

“Is this Alphonse Elric?”

“This is him speaking.” Al answered the phone in his office at the university.

“I am calling on behalf of Edward Elric, he had you listed as his emergency contact - ”

“I’m on my way!” The phone slammed a little harder than he meant to. But this wasn’t the first time he had gotten this call. How many times had he been sitting in the General’s, at the time Colonel’s, office and gotten that exact call? Too many. Ed was in the hospital. He had done something stupid, and was so hurt he couldn’t call Alphonse himself.

It took him no time to get there and once inside the nurse recognized him immediately. There were only two men who had the same golden hair and eyes. She led him to the room where his brother was currently resting.

“Someone from his workplace brought him here. They said that he had been coughing up blood before he passed out…” She said in a calm soft tone that nurses tended to have. The one that Al hated because it meant that they were about to say something that they really didn’t want to. “The doctor will be here shortly to explain the rest. But as of right now he is breathing steadily on his own and has been giving a sedative to help sleep. It looks like he hasn’t gotten a good night’s rest in a while.”

Al nodded, not wanting to say something rude. She was really doing her job and trying to help. When she stepped away, he went over to his brother’s bedside. His breathing was harsh, there small specks of blood on his shirt and chin, and he looked so pale. So _worn out_. How had he let it get this bad?

Because Ed was a great liar.

He would look terrible, but smile and send him off in the morning with a sack lunch and some smart remark about how he had to go teach the idiots how to do alchemy. He would grin as he watched Al eat whatever dinner he had made waiting to see if his brother noticed the secret ingredient that he had added. Which was always some sort of spice or pepper that had Al’s eyes watering, but Ed cackling.

Alphonse had let this happen because his brother had refused to let him see him as anything then the strong force of a man he had always been.

“Hello Alphonse.” The doctor had appeared. It was the same kind older man that always seemed to get stuck with putting Ed back together when they appeared at the Central Hospital.

“Hello Dr. Redlin. How bad is it?”

The old man nodded. The Elric’s never beat around the bush.

“Edward seems to have some sort of growth in his lungs. Its suppressing his lungs and blocking the airways.”

“Like… a tumor?” Al asked quietly. He’d grown up in small town Resembool. Winry’s parents were doctors. He knew a little.

And he knew when a patient had a tumor, sometimes it was not a big deal depending on what kind it was or where it was. And sometimes… it went very poorly. One in his brother’s lungs? Could only be bad.

“No. If it was that I would know how to proceed. But this... Let me show you the x-rays we took. I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

When the doctor turned on the light board Al couldn’t believe what he was seeing either. There were his brother’s lungs, and wrapped around them was what looked like… roots? There was no other explanation. It looked like something was growing inside of his brother’s lungs.

“What… is this?” Al looked over at the man next to him.

“Like I said, I’ve never seen anything like this. It looks like some plant is growing in there. Either way, as you can see, the way it’s grown and wrapped itself around his lungs like that I don’t think I can remove it without serious injuring him. Also… right here…” The doctor pointed at one particular root strand. It was growing towards Ed’s heart. “If this one keeps going in that direction… I don’t know how pliable it is, but…”

“It’s going to pierce his heart…” Al muttered.

“That is my fear. Yes.”

What was this? This was Central Hospital, the most advanced medical clinic in all of Amestris. This doctor was the one assigned to State Alchemists. He had seen everything and then some.

But he had never seen this?

But neither had Al.

“From what I can tell it looks completely organic.” The Doctor continued. He’d had the Elrics as patients many times before and knew that they liked to have all the facts. “It doesn’t look like it was alchemically produced. I would say it’s some sort of mutation. Of course, that is simply speculation. But it seems to have started here, and grown from him.”

“And… this? What are all these?” Al pointed at some more translucent bunches higher on the x-ray.

“Those… are flowers.”

Al just stared at him.

Did he say flowers?

_Flowers were growing in his brother?_

“This… isn’t real.” But he knew better.

Of all the things that had seen. That they had experienced? This was hardly the strangest. But if something didn’t change soon… it was going to be the thing that killed Ed.

* * *

“No Alphonse this week?” Roy asked as they sat at their usual table.

Havoc shrugged. “Nope. I tried calling his work and the house, but he didn’t pick up. Knowing those two they are probably reading themselves death.”

A few more jokes were made at the Elrics study habits, but Roy wasn’t listening anymore. The truth was, that Alphonse had rarely missed their Friday nights. Since the two brothers had returned to Central the younger had shown up every Friday. Sometimes still in his work attire. Never late, he always thought that was too rude, and the few times he couldn’t make it he had called while they were all still in the office so they wouldn’t worry.

So naturally when Alphonse didn’t show up, and there had been no phone call. Roy worried. The truth was, he knew the Elrics better than most. Maybe not the Rockbells, they raised the brothers. But Roy had gone through so much with those two at his side. And he was well aware that the only thing that would have Al acting out of character like this was if something had happened. The only thing that would have thrown off Alphonse _this_ much was if something had happened to Edward.

The voices of Havoc and Breda threatened to break his train of thought, but they were talking about some drabble he wouldn’t have cared about on a good night and blocked them out once again.

Edward.

Roy had seen him several times since he had reappeared in Central. When Ed was clearly avoiding them, Roy knew it was because of him. And that was ridiculous. There was no need for the stubborn fool to ignore the other people who missed him simply to escape from confronting him. Their last conversation before the Promised Day… it had been Roy’s fault.

He shouldn’t have pressed the issue. It was stupid. Something that was incredibly trivial, but had seemed like the most important thing in the world. Even when their world was crumbling around them.

Roy had insisted that Ed tell him what he was hiding. He was sure it was something stupid. But _He didn’t do stupid_. Ed’s exact words. But if it wasn’t something stupid, then it must be serious? But not serious enough to prevent him from still showing up for a round of drinks and some greasy pub food.

So, Roy, in all his brilliance, had asked if Ed was dating someone. It wasn’t that he had seen the blonde with anyone. But he would get a faraway expression occasionally when he thought no one was paying any attention to him. It wasn’t unlike the one Havoc had all the time. Except where Havoc was drooling mess, Ed’s only tell was his eyes. He would keep his frowning look, but his eyes were looking somewhere that no else could see.

When Roy had inquired about a possible lady friend Ed had turned red, but not in an embarrassed blush, it was full blown anger that Roy hadn’t seen from him in a while. Then he asked if it was a boyfriend. Because that was of course ok too. Despite what the military said. And Ed should know that Roy wouldn’t turn him in for something like _that_. Because he too dated men sometimes.

“You are fucking ridiculous!” Ed had snapped. “What business is it of yours?!”

“Of course, it’s my business!” Roy argued. “I may be your superior officer in the office, but here I am your friend. And if you need some tips on how to pick up a date then by all means I should be the one to help you!”

“Why? Because you’re such a whore that you sleep with everything that walks past you?!”

He had cringed at that. It hurt. But he knew his reputation was not great. Today in the office he had ‘bragged’ to Havoc about his date the night before. It was part of his image. The one he had developed with Hughes’s help. No one but Maes and his ‘dates’ knew the truth. And Maes was gone now.

“You have no right - ” He started, his tone low as he glared at the blonde.

“Just like you have no right sticking your nose where it isn’t wanted Mustang! Leave me alone!” Ed had started to walk away.

And Roy had _known_. If he let Ed walk away now that this was it.

The blonde would never turn around.

He wouldn’t come back.

His stubborn pride wouldn’t allow it.

Roy just had to apologize.

He simply had to reassure Ed that the only reason why he had brought it up was because he cared. Because he was his friend. Because he didn’t want to see him hurt. Because maybe this mystery person wasn’t good enough for him. Maybe… maybe Ed was right. It wasn’t any of his business.

Edward Elric was strong and independent. He knew what he wanted and did whatever it took to get there.

Roy Mustang had no business putting himself into the equation.

So he let Ed walk away.

When he went back inside and the others asked what had happened, he just shrugged and said that Ed had left.

It was the truth.

When the Elric had moved back to Central Roy sent Havoc to investigate the moment he heard. It was several months later that he had Jean make contact. It was weeks later that Alphonse started showing up on their Friday nights like he had always belonged.

It was the next day that Roy found himself walking into the Library.

Ed was radiant as always.

A sun shining in the dark lighting the Library always had.

Their first interaction had been a bit awkward, but all things considering it wasn’t bad.

Roy couldn’t stop staring at the man behind the reception desk. Long golden hair pulled back into a ponytail, a strong jawline that made him resemble the photos Roy had seen of his father, and strong arms that were wasted carrying books around all day. He still had the body of a fighter. That hadn’t changed. Neither did the scowl that he shot at him once he realized who was staring at him.

“Hey, loser, do you need something? Or do you just like to waste everyone’s Saturday’s standing around like a statue?”

Roy finally noticed the line that had formed behind him with people who had questions or wanted to check out books.

“I was just hoping to renew my card?”

What?

The look Ed gave him matched what he was thinking.

_Is that really the best you can do?_

“I believe that State Alchemists just need to have their watches on hand to check out books. Not that I would know anything about that though.” He smirked up at a fumbling Roy.

“Now that you mention it, I believe you’re right. My apologies.”

“Great. I love being right. Now get out of the way so I can help people who actually need it.”

Roy took quick steps to hide behind some shelves. Didn’t he have a plan when he came here? Wasn’t he going to simply inquire as to why Edward was avoiding them? Why he couldn’t join his brother sometimes? Wasn’t he just going to tell him that Havoc was engaged? That Breda still couldn’t get a date? That Falman was going about to have his third kid?

“You know, most people who come to libraries are looking for books that they haven’t read yet, or actually want to read.”

How was Edward _right there_?

“What makes you think I don’t want to read these?”

“Because you kill everything you try to grow?”

Ah. He was in the gardening and plant life section.

“Maybe I want to learn how to keep them alive.”

“Does a General really have time for that?” Ed finished putting away his pile of books and leaned a shoulder on one of the shelves.

He had grown so much, they were nearly eye level.

“You wouldn’t know, would you? Since you seem determined to avoid us.”

Well that could have been approached better.

“I don’t need to go see you guys when Al tells me everything I need to know and then some every night when he gets back from hanging around you terrible influences.”

“We are _not_.”

“My sweet younger brother never drank until he met you guys.” Ed sighed dramatically.

That… could be true.

“He never drinks too much. We watch out for him.”

“Of course, he’s fine. He’s a genius. He knows the exact alcohol content of everything he drinks and knows exactly how much he can have before it will actually affect him. I trust that kid.” Ed scoffed as he bragged about his brother.

Somethings never changed.

“He’s hardly a kid.” Roy pointed out.

“Yeah.” Ed smiled. “Damn. He turned twenty-one last month. There was a time I didn’t know if he would ever turn sixteen.”

“A lot has happened.”

That was the understatement of the century and they both knew it.

“Come on you moron. Let’s get you out of here.” Ed started to walk away forcing Roy to follow him out of the Library.

They got coffee.

They talked about Al’s recovery. About Winry’s business. About Amestris politics and how much longer until Roy could take the Fuhrer seat.

It was nice.

It was perfect.

They never actually called them dates. It was always Roy showing up just as Ed’s shift was ending and ‘maybe they could get a drink since he was already there’. Or Ed happened to be walking past Central Command on his way back from an errand and ‘well since there is a sandwich shop over there we might as well’. 

But it only lasted for three months.

Roy was on a ‘date’. They woman he was with had just filled him in on intel from Olivier Armstrong about the Drachman border. They were on their way back the Madame Christmas’s bar when they passed the grocery store. The on that the Elric brothers were currently stepping out of.

His eyes met Ed’s and he knew that he had messed up.

He had trusted Ed with so much already. Why wouldn’t he have told him about this? Because Roy to keep his cards close. That was his nature. And once again he was going to ruin everything because of it.

Alphonse had of course been friendly and eager to meet his ‘new friend’, but had stayed back and grunted a good night when they parted ways.

That was the last time he saw Ed.

The other librarians told him that, “Mr. Elric was too busy.”

Al made a hundred excuses and not a single one could possibly be true.

“Hey. Mustang. Where are you?”

Havoc’s voice snapped him out of his reverie.

“Nowhere. Just tired. I think I’m going to call it early tonight. See you all Monday.”

There was a round of goodbyes before Roy stepped out into the crisp night air.

Where was Edward and Alphonse?

* * *

When Edward woke up, he knew that he’d messed up. Alphonse was sitting in a chair next to his bed in a hospital room. The same book that had informed him of his ‘extinct disease’ open in his lap as he read. Once he realized that Ed was awake though his attention shifted, the book set on a table nearby.

“How are you feeling?” Al asked quietly.

“Like shit.”

“You’re lucky that I love you too much to further injure you then. How could you Ed?”

His brother looked _so hurt_.

“Al… I’m… I didn’t – it was just that - ”

“Enough. I know that you read this book.” He held up the offending item. “There is a coffee stain on here that isn’t old enough to be anyone but you.”

That just figures. His brother. The detective.

“Lots of people drink coffee.”

“Lots of people aren’t dying or even aware of a disease that hasn’t existed in four hundred years Edward.”

And he won again.

“So. Let’s fix this.” Al’s smile could bring flowers back to life, could cure almost any disease.

Just not this one.

“There isn’t a cure.”

“It says right here that there is. I know you saw it.” The trademark Elric stubborn frown adorned his face.

“That’s ridiculous. How could that cure anything?”

“Xerxes was a country that was exceptionally evolved in alchemical studies and agriculture. If this text says that this is what they had written as a cure then I am not going to doubt it. Especially when we haven’t even tried it. Now tell me Ed, who is it?”

Edward was well aware that his brother’s words held a lot of truth. Alphonse was also a genius. Also, he would do anything for him. It was a trait that they had shared their whole lives. It was part of the reason that Ed refused to tell him the truth.

“Al…”

“Don’t you lie to me Edward Elric! You don’t get to just lay there and give up!” Al snapped. “Now tell me. Is it Winry?”

Ed laughed so hard he started coughing. Once he had control of his lungs again, he shook his head at his worrying brother. “No. Definitely not. Jeez Al. I’ve been waiting for you to kiss her for years now though.”

“What! No. I mean. It’s just that… don’t you change the subject on me.” It’s amazing how fast he goes from blushing to glaring. Probably another thing they had in common. But he wasn’t going to think too much about that.

“The truth is, this person… doesn’t want me. We tried. It didn’t work. He moved on and I let him. How was I supposed to know that I would get a Xerxesian disease?”

“Him? So, it’s a man. That at least limits the search down some.” The younger Elric muttered.

“Nuh uh. No man hunting for you.” Edward reached out and grabbed his wrist. “I _tried_ Al. I promise I did. I’m just not… I’m not really dating material you know? And its ok. It’s really ok.”

“Stupid brother. You promised. You don’t get to give up! You _promised me_.” There were tears in his eyes despite how steady his tone was.

Edward closed his eyes resting back against his pillows. Yeah. He had promised.

_“Making the decision to die is something only an idiot does!”_

_“Hey! Easy on the idiot stuff! I’m still your older brother, got it?!”_

_“I’ll say it all I want to! Survival is the only way Ed. Live on. Learn more about alchemy. You can find a way to get our bodies back and help people like Nina. You can’t do that by dying! I won’t allow you to abandon the possibility of hope and choose a meaningless death!”_

He never actually said ‘promise’. But they both knew it. Neither of them was allowed to give up if there was another way to keep moving forward. To live on.

“Alright. But… when it doesn’t work. Al. Remember that I told you so.”

“Stupid idiot.” Al sobbed as he leaned over and hugged him.

* * *

Of all the ways that Roy had considered that he might find the Elrics it certainly didn’t include Riza pulling up next to him in her car telling him to get in.

There were hardly any people in this world that Roy Mustang trusted blindly.

Riza Hawkeye was at the top of that list.

When she said, “Get in now, Sir.” He did just that.

“What is the situation?”

“I got a phone call from Alphonse.” She said.

Roy felt his stomach drop.

“Edward is in the hospital… and it’s not good. He didn’t explain what exactly was going on. So I told him I’d be there as soon as I grabbed you.”

“Did he ask for me?”

They both knew who he meant.

“Not specifically.” Riza admitted. “However, Alphonse sounded relieved that I was getting you first.”

That was enough.

At least that’s what he told himself, until they were just outside Edward’s door. The coughing was horrible. It was a choking cough that went too long. How long had this been going on?

When they stepped into the room there was a nurse and Al hovering over him both ready for him to ask for anything, but there was nothing to be done till he regained control of his breathing. Covering the blankets and Ed’s shirt was dark blood splatters… and flowers?

Had others already been by to wish him well?

But why were they in tatters on the blanket, drenched in blood and saliva?

Roy recognized the plants immediately. One of the many things he had learned over the years were plants and their meanings. Initially it was to be used on his ‘dates’ to send messages. But it didn’t take him long to realize that there was no plant for ‘who is trying to stab me in the back now?’

There were gladiolus flowers, elegant in their pale pink color which only made the blood on them stick out more. They were a flower for strength. The others were protea flowers, they symbolized change. He had once given Olivier a bouquet with those flowers and she had called them the ugliest things she had ever seen before tossing the whole thing into a fire. They were large bulky flowers with thin pointed petals.

“Brother… that one was huge… the book said whole flower blossoms meant…”

“I know Al. Its…” Edward winced as he swallowed. “It is what it is.”

“Perhaps we should come back a little later?” Riza suggested from next to him.

He should have spoken up, but the sight of the former Fullmetal Alchemist so pale and thin… it shocked him.

“No. Now is a good time.” Al reassured them. “Here Brother.” He handed Ed a glass of water and held a basin over his lap.

He swished the water around and spat it back out. Petals and pinkish water filled the bottom quickly.

“Ugh. That’s kinda gross.” Ed moaned sounding so much like himself it hurt.

“Remember what you promised me.” Al said quietly before heading toward the door. “Lieutenant, would you help me find the cafeteria.”

“Of course.” She followed him out before shutting the door behind them.

“I would think Al knows where that is…” Roy gave an awkward laugh.

“Sometimes you’re so stupid I don’t know how you’ve survived this long.” Ed groaned.

Roy sat in the chair next to the bed. “Edward. Tell me what’s happening.”

The golden-haired man opened his mouth to answer, but then closed it again having apparently changed his mind. “Its… a disease.” He finally went with.

“What kind of disease?” The twisting in his stomach wouldn’t cease. Why wouldn’t he meet his eyes.

Ed picked up one of the gladiolus blossoms and twirled it in his fingers.

“An extinct disease. One that shouldn’t exist.”

Roy frowned. There was a lot that was strange about the Elrics, but one thing he did remember coming up in a conversation was their father. Their father who had been hundreds of years old before he met Trisha Elric. An extinct disease…

“So, what’s the cure? What are they doing?”

“Nothing.” Ed smirked over at him, finally looking at him with humorless eyes. “There is no medicine, no pill, no shot. They probably could have done surgery at one point, but it’s been too long now. I ignored it for too long and let it get out of control.”

“What?” Roy growled. “In this day and age surely there is something – _someone_ – that could help! We could send for the Xingese Princess! What’s her name? Mei!”

“Roy…” Ed sighed.

When was the last time he had used his first name to talk to him? Had he ever?

“Look at the x-rays.”

He glanced over at the lit up photos on the wall. They depicted the tangled mess that was Ed’s respiratory system. And the … root? That was nearly about to puncture his heart.

“What… is that?”

“It’s a disease that we don’t have a name for, because it shouldn’t exist. It died out with Xerxes four hundred years ago. But you know. Hohenheim. So here we are. Basically, that plant is in me, and until _something_ happens it’s going to keep growing until it chokes me to death.”

His tone was so calm, so sure. This was the truth as Edward believed it.

But that couldn’t be.

Alphonse wouldn’t have left the room if he didn’t have faith that Edward would survive this. Right?

“What is the something that needs to happen?”

“It’s stupid.” He muttered.

“Edward. Something that is going to save your life is not stupid.” Roy tried not to sound scolding, and in return his voice sounded… scared.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Don’t be stupid. This is your life! Of course, we are going to talk about it!”

“Tell me something else first.”

He inhaled and exhaled before nodding. “Alright. What do you want to know?”

“Why…” Ed huffed. “This is so stupid…” After playing with the crimson splattered for a moment more, he looked at Roy. “Why did you get bored with me? Was I really such a pain in the ass?”

He just stared. What? Of all the things he thought Ed might ask… might think… He thought that he was boring? Of all things?

“Al’s told me my whole life that with my attitude it would be hard to get anyone but him to put up with me, and I know he says it because he loves me. But I really kind of thought that you were … I don’t know. Different. I thought you got it.”

“Why is that?” That’s not what he wanted to say.

“Probably because you’re such a bastard I thought you wouldn’t mind putting up with an asshole like me.”

“The eloquence in the way you word things.” Roy muttered.

“Shut up Mustang. Damn it. I told him I couldn’t do this… Just leave. It’s fine. This is all fine.” Ed crossed his arms angrily and looked away. Twenty-two years old and he still acted like this…

Out of habit Roy had a snarky remark on the edge of his lips, but then Ed started coughing again. It was horrible the way it racked through his whole body. The trembling of his limbs, the watered eyes, the dark circles under them. After a moment of Roy uselessly watching he saw the most incredulous thing. A flower. A whole flower came out of Edward’s mouth into his waiting hand, just as covered in reddened saliva as the rest.

A red poppy.

These were popular. Most people knew the meaning behind these. They laid them on the graves of fallen soldiers in remembrance.

After another small coughing fit and a few more poppies covering the blanket Roy realized what was happening. Edward was going to keep growing that plant, was going to keep coughing up _flowers_ until his lungs and trachea were so filled with them that he just… couldn’t.

The red poppies triggered so many flash backs. Ishval. Maes. Now they were here, resting on the bed that Edward was dying in.

“Ed.” Roy clasped his hand suddenly. He needed to hang on. He’d lost so many… he would not lose Edward as well…

“Roy. My hands are covered in spit. And blood. Spit and blood. Its gross.”

“I don’t care. What’s the cure? Ed tell me what to do.”

“What? I’m not telling you. You didn’t even answer my question.”

“Your question? It was ridiculous. As if anyone could ever be bored of you? You are so intelligent, so full of spirit, that genius wit of yours and stubborn pride that refuses to back down once you’ve set your mind to it! You are radiant Ed. Like a sun. You shine brighter than anyone no matter what room you’re in. Even now, in this hospital as you are withering away, you are still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

Ed’s face was blushing so brightly he thought he might burst a blood vessel. “Then. What. No. If any of that shit is true then why did I see you with her?”

“She is a friend Ed. More of a sister then anything. She was in town from Briggs and I was taking her to dinner simply to catch up. I _know_ what it looked like. I do. But you have to believe me. It’s not like that.”

“Why should I even believe that?”

“Well for one, she is dating Olivier.” Roy attempted a grin, but it was weak.

“The Major General?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow. Yeah. She is out of your league then.” Ed nodded.

“Thanks.”

“Sure sure.”

There was a moment where they both continued to stare at the flowers, listening to former State Alchemist’s labored breathing.

“Ed… I answered your question.” And basically, dumped all his heart on to him… Which he had in fact noticed that the man was ignoring. “Now please answer mine.”

He didn’t answer, but handed him the book that Alphonse had left behind. “I want to sleep.” He said quietly.

The tiredness in his eyes was clear, as frustrated as he was Roy knew better and just nodded. “I will be back later.”

“Ok… see you later.”

He didn’t drift to sleep so much as he crashed right into his pillow and passed out.

* * *

He found Al and Riza in the cafeteria speaking quietly over paper cups filled with what was probably horribly bitter coffee.

“So how did it go?” Al asked with scrutinizing eyes.

“We talked about some stuff… and he … coughed up more of them.” He said quietly trying not to see the flinch that Al didn’t hide so well. “But he still wouldn’t tell me if there even was a cure. It’s like he doesn’t care.”

“But you and I both know that’s not true right General?”

“Excuse me?”

“Anyone who has met my brother knows that thing that gets him into the most trouble is that he cares _too_ much. He gave you that book, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then I suggest you read page 108. It explains everything.”

Quickly flipping to the indicated page Roy began reading where he stood. It only took him a minute to read what little was known of the disease that had possessed Edward, but it was enough.

“Thank you, Alphonse. I understand now.” He set the book down in front of the younger Elric.

“I thought you might.” Al had a tired grin.

“I think you know what you need to do Sir.” Riza piped in.

“Of course. I will see you both later.”

They both just gave him encouraging smiles before he walked away briskly.

* * *

He hated to wake him. Really, he did. Especially since he almost looked peaceful. But this was important.

“Edward, wake up.” He gently shook his shoulder.

“Go away.” He mumbled.

“I don’t think so. Come on now, I need to talk to you.”

“Not the boss of me bastard.” Ed yawned, gave a small cough that only produced a small poppy blossom then looked over at him.

“Edward. I love you. I have for quite a while now. It was you that saved me from myself when we fought Envy. It was you that I could rely on to show up and maybe be a little dramatic, but also one hundred percent reliable. You are the one that I want to take to dinners, to stay home and have quiet evenings together. To come home to. You are the one that I want sitting by me when we are all at the pub listening to Breda’s horrendous jokes. You are a light for so many. You were the People’s Alchemist. They all loved you. And you were so good to so many people. Let me do that for you. Let me be the shoulder you can lean on. Let me hold your hand, and tell you that I love the way your eyes out shine the sun itself. Give me the chance to be someone you can rely on.”

There was a moment where he wasn’t sure Ed heard him. He was just staring…

“Are you… serious?”

“I wouldn’t joke about this Edward. I wanted to tell you before… but you looked so hurt. I didn’t want to be do that to you ever again. But I would much rather you punch me in the face now, then never try and risk losing you forever.”

Ed nodded. “I – I believe you.”

Roy waited. “And?”

“And what? You want me to say it back? Of course, I love you bastard. I’m sitting here covered in my own blood and all these stupid flowers for you! I was willing to let a plant wreck my lungs rather than risk having you feel guilty in case you didn’t feel the same. Of all the ungrateful - ”

Quickly leaning forward, he pressed his lips to his in hopes of silencing him, and really not being able to hold himself back anymore. One hand resting by his hip the other on the wall behind his golden hair. It took only a second for Ed to realize what was happening and grabbed Roy’s collar pulling him in deeper.

“Oh good. It’s about time anyway.” Alphonse’s voice came from the doorway.

Roy went to step back, but Ed wasn’t releasing his hold on his shirt. “Shut up Alphonse.”

“You’re just mad because I was right.”

“We don’t know that yet. I doubt this thing is just going to evaporate into oxygen. There is no such thing as magic.”

He had a point. They didn’t know what came next. Would the plant die? Would it wither to nothing? Would it just … stop growing? But stay as it was? There was no precedent for this.

“As unfortunate as it is,” Riza stepped into the room, an amused glint in her eye as she saw her superior officer. “We are just going to have to wait it out.”

“I hate waiting.” Ed whined.

“You had no problem waiting like eight years before you finally told the General you had a crush on him.” Al quipped.

“You had a crush on me?” Roy absolutely preened.

“No, you dumbass. I did all of this to get one lousy kiss out of you. Now get out.”

“But you’re still holding onto my shirt. If I tried to leave now, I would have to go without it.”

“And? Go ahead. No one’s stopping you.”

“I am!” Al cut in. “I am definitely stopping any articles of clothing from coming off. In fact. We need more clothes. Brother. I am going to buy you a sweater.”

“Calm down Al. I can’t even sit up properly without this stupid plant stabbing my ribs. Nothing is going to happen.”

“That’s what you think.” Roy smirked.

“Sir.” Riza glared.

“But maybe yes, later would be better.”

Alphonse came over and cleared off some of the flowers to dump in the waste basket. “This may be a little soon, but how do you feel?”

Ed sat for moment seriously thinking it over. Doing a quick check of everything that had been hurting the last few weeks.

“You know, this is going to sound crazy. But I honestly do feel a bit better. I don’t have the tickling in my throat like I did earlier.”

“That’s good! I think we have only good things ahead.” Al smiled.

Releasing Roy’s shirt to take his hand, Ed grinned. “Yeah. You may be right.”


	2. The Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been sitting in my files for... a long time. For a while I didn't want to touch this because I liked how the original story ended. But - this little epilogue was written anyway, might as well let it see the light of day.

“I cannot believe you are making me do this.” Ed whined as he tugged at the button-down shirt that felt too tight but Al insisted was perfect.

“Hush Brother. Its dinner. People want to celebrate you. The least you can do is let them.”

“If it’s in my honor then shouldn’t I get to pick what we do?”

Al grabbed his coat off the rack before holding the door open for him. “Normally yes, but you are being a bit of a brat. So, in your case no.”

Ed shoved his hands in his pockets as they started walking toward Main. The last month had been hell. Honestly, he was still a bit tired and would not have minded to have a night in. But Al was right, he couldn’t not go to the thing that everyone was calling Edward’s Comeback Dinner.

“Hey, if it gets to be too much, we’ll go right home.” Alphonse rested a hand on his shoulder. “Just say the word.”

“Thanks.”

“Of course. Anything for you.”

And he had proven a million times over that he meant that. Just like Ed had in return for him. But especially at the hospital. Because the ‘healing process’ had been worse than the illness. At least in his opinion.

* * *

“Call a doctor! Its stuck in his throat!”

Ed was choking on branches and roots. It had started the night after Roy had first visited him. At first it had been harmless little bits of petals and dead flowers. But as they reached the early morning it had turned into parts of branches and vines. It was horrible.

He had tried to reach in his mouth and yank out one that had been particularly rough and promptly started choking on the branch spitting up blood.

If only he had his alchemy still. He could deconstruct this thing. Al could do it, but he had gone home to change clothes since most the night had been relatively mellow.

Alphonse was going to be so disappointed in him.

He literally went home for an hour.

One hour.

Ed apparently needed a full-time baby sitter these days.

There was blood running down his chin, he couldn’t wipe it because the nurses had strapped down his hands after the first time, he tried to rip it out of his throat afraid that he would do more damage then good.

He was trying desperately to remind himself to stay calm, to not panic. Yes, there was something preventing him from breathing properly, but if he focused, he could still manage short breaths. He felt like he was slowly suffocating, but focusing on the smaller breaths was keeping him from panicking.

The doctor arrived shortly with Alphonse on his heels.

“Brother!” Without any hesitation Al clapped his hands and touched the bit that worked its way up in Edward’s mouth.

It disintegrated into what felt like dirt in his mouth. A few more heavy coughs and a glass of water had him back to breathing normally.

The doctor was asking questions. The nurse was retelling what they had witnessed. Al sat in the chair next to his bed and began undoing the Velcro straps that had kept his hands from his face.

“You could have seriously damaged your lungs or throat ripping that thing out Ed.” Al said quietly.

Ed snorted. “As if my body isn’t already wrecked. What’s one more thing?”

When the younger Elric had finished releasing his right arm from the bindings he hung onto the hand. “We worked hard to get our bodies back to some sort of order.” His eyes lingered over the automail leg, something that Ed knew he regretted not being able to fix. “Let’s not damage them anymore? They’ve been through enough.”

Ed wanted to make a big show of being just fine, but he was still trying to regulate his breathing back to normal and his arms were sore from being so tense under the bindings.

Maybe he was slightly less than ‘fine’.

For the next few weeks Alphonse rarely left Ed’s side. In the beginning it was almost a fight to get away long enough to shower. Because, “But Brother, what if another piece starts coming up your throat while you’re in there?”

It was sweet, and he understood that it came from a place of love.

But no.

Then there was Winry.

Alphonse had told her what had been happening and she was on the next train out as soon as she hung up the phone.

There were tears, and tools were thrown. But she was glad that he ‘finally made out with the General’.

Apparently, this was a thing.

That his younger brother and Winry were little gossips behind his back and were aware of Ed’s feelings for a while.

Which he pointed out it would have been really nice of them to speak up, but they were all aware that it wouldn’t have done any good. Probably would have made it worse knowing Edward’s own stubbornness.

Roy visited every day when he was still in the hospital. Bringing Ed new books that he hoped the alchemist didn’t already poses. Some were very rare and Ed tried not to think how much Roy probably spent on them.

“I would normally bring flowers, but I feel like you’ve had enough of those.” The General chuckled as he sat with Ed one evening after work.

The golden-haired young man rolled his eyes. “You think? If I want flowers, I can probably still manage to cough one up.”

Roy frowned. “Isn’t it too soon to joke about that?”

“You started it.”

“So, I did.” He hummed. “If I wanted, I could also save on money and just clean up the ones in the bin here too.”

“Now _that’s_ too far.”

He gave him a critical eye before smirking. “Because I’m being cheap?”

“Absolutely. Besides, you and I both know that the better gift would be food.”

“Of course. My mistake.”

It was… surprisingly easy how they adjusted to this new dynamic in their lives. Ed could be as much of a sarcastic shit as he wanted and Roy… just laughed. Or agreed. Or even dished it back. It was beautiful. Perfect. Ed adored it so much he wanted to puke thinking about how loved and happy it made him feel.

He’d heard about the ‘honeymoon phase’ of a relationship and expected this ray of sunlight that seemed to fill his entire being every time he met Roy’s eyes to eventually ease up and go away.

But a month later… and it was even stronger than before.

What the hell.

* * *

The dinner was actually at a local pub that was a normal hangout for their small group of friends. At least Ed had assumed it would be a small group, but was surprised by the number of people who actually filled the space.

The place had clearly been rented out for this stupid event that had been set up. And all the faces inside were people he knew.

Havoc, Breda, Fuery, Falman, and Hawkeye he had suspected would be there. But Darius and Heinkel’s large forms were in the background as they spoke with Winry and Pinako, about something or another that was mechanical and Ed wasn’t going to pretend to understand. The largest surprise though was the presence of Ling and Mei.

“Ling?!” Ed gasped. “Don’t you have a freaking country to be running or some shit?”

The energetic man laughed and pulled him into a large hug. “Edward! I am Emperor of Xing! I can do as I please!”

Mei, she had grown several feet Ed noticed with only the slightest tinge of jealousy, stepped up to give Alphonse a hug. “He cannot and is only here because he finally agreed to take a guard.”

Ed looked around the room. “So… does that mean your shadow is here too?”

Ling smiled widely. “Who knows? I was told free food though! The man of the hour has arrived so let’s feast!”

“As an Emperor I would hardly think you need to be concerned with paying for food.” Al grinned.

“My dear Alphonse,” he replied, suddenly serious, “Free food is always a blessing. And one must never turn away a blessing.” Then he clapped his hands together. “Look! Free wisdom from an Emperor! You’re welcome!” Then he was gone like the tornado he could be in search of food.

Mei pulled Al aside with an apologetic expression to Ed as she had something about a diplomatic excursion, she wanted his advice on.

The minute his brother was pulled aside however was the same moment Roy stepped up next to Ed and pulled him into a swift hello kiss.

“Is that just going to be a thing with you now?” Ed pretended to grumble as people whistled at them.

“I’d like to say I’ll refrain from it, but I’m afraid that’s likely not going to be plausible.” Roy shrugged unapologetically.

“You’re disgusting.”

“Disgustingly in love. Ah yes. The tragedy.”

“Are you drunk?”

“Love dr - ”

Ed clapped a hand over the man’s mouth. “Alright. Enough. I see where this is going and I’m stopping it.”

Roy smirked under his palm and kissed it.

“If you keep acting like this, I’m going to send you home.”

“You can’t throw me out of the party I arranged.”

“It’s my party and I can do what I want.”

“When have you ever done anything but what you want?”

Alphonse cleared his throat loudly.

They both turned to look at him.

“If you two can’t behave I’m going to kick you both out.”

Ed gasped in mock offense.

Roy clutched his chest as if Al’s words wounded him.

“You two deserve each other.” Winry rolled her eyes.

“I think it’s sweet.” Mei grinned.

“Don’t encourage them.” Alphonse pleaded with her.

“ALRIGHT! CAN WE EAT NOW?” Ling’s voice called above the cacophony of voices in the room.

“We better start the actually ‘eating’ part of the dinner before Ling starts a war.” Ed smirked.

“I really don’t feel like fighting another war in this lifetime.” Roy nodded in agreement.

As everyone began to crowd around the table that had a bunch of food laid out buffet style, Roy pulled to the side really quick.

“I just wanted to say, I hate the way it had to happen, but I’m glad that we are here now.”

Ed knew his face was red, but he cleared his throat and met the stupid loving eyes that were gazing at him. “Yeah well, me too.”

Roy smiled as if Ed had just handed him the stars out of the sky as a present.

No, he didn’t think he was ever going to grow out of that warm sunny feeling whenever he saw him smile. Just like he knew Roy would always insist on terrible flirting and PDA.

But… it was good.

And they were finally happy.

**Author's Note:**

> [@InsomniacTiger](https://twitter.com/InsomniacTiger)  
> Come say Hi over on Twitter! I post updates for my stories and art! :)


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